Women are expected to be attractive to men above all else

It’s been my experience that when someone thinks that holding potential mates to a taste standard is shallow, it’s usually in the context not of judging someone else, but of having been judged by someone else.

We make judgements of others all the time, and I do agree that that’s the mechanism by which we choose our friends and lovers. It gets a bit sticky, however, when we employ normative terms like “good” and “bad”, because we never think our own tastes are bad (obviously). So we readily evaluate others’ tastes as good or bad, but when our own tastes are rendered as bad by someone else, we tend not to like that. No one wants to be negatively judged; if you can let that roll off of your back every time, then my hat’s off to you.

I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that a little self-reflection in the social realm is healthy, not only in the sense that one’s tastes can be subject to change, but that judgement runs in both directions. I realize that sounds like I’m stating the obvious, but it’s easy to forget that when we’re making our way in the social realm.